We interrupt this broadcast with a special bulletin. . .

Occasionally life just conspires against you. In my case, circumstances have made me temporarily homeless while building work is taking place at my flat. Consequently, I have had to retreat to my parents's gaff for a couple of weeks. Without sole use of a PC, and horrible filter software at work that makes Blogger unavailable, this makes blogging difficult. Therefore to my loyal army of readers (all eight of you. . . ) I must apologise. How your lives can have any meaning without me making pithy comments about this and that I don't know, but somehow we're going to have to pull through this together. . . . Perhaps you could read some of the links I recommend on the right in the meantime. But do come back every now and then, as I hope to get a few thoughts up here as and when it is possible.

Hang in there people. The human spirit is very tenacious. Together we can make it happen.

P.S. Does anyone want a gmail account? I've got 50 of the buggers to give away. You too can join the elite set of gmail beta users. If anyone's interested leave a comment or mail me at the e-mail address on the right.

Gran says: "legalise it!"

If ever there was a case to underline the absurdity of anti-drug legislation, it's this one. Patricia Tabram, a 66 year old woman from Northumberland, takes cannabis in a powdered form up to five times a day because it alleviates back and neck pain, tinnitus and depression far more efficiently than the cocktail of synthetic drugs that she was previously prescribed, and without any of the unpleasant side effects. You'd think a pensioner managing to relieve herself of excruciating body pains and living a more comfortabe life would be a good thing, wouldn't you? She has found something harmless (relative to the toxic alternatives, at least) and naturally occurring that alleviates her condition. Moreover, it is cheaper, freeing up funds that would otherwise be subsidising her expensive prescriptions.

But no. She's branded a criminal and is on bail, charged with possession of an illegal substance with intent to supply. Ridiculous in so many ways. Ridiculous that an elderly woman providing her friends with small amounts so that they, too, can benefit, is defined as a drug dealer. Ridiculous that the police have to waste time, effort and money clamping down on users of such a benign substance. There is no logic or basis for keeping cannabis illegal, all it does is make criminals of people unnecessarily. People who are causing no offence or harm to anyone other than themselves. It clogs up the legal system and wastes the time of the police who could instead be concentrating on more serious matters. For instance, controlling the antisocial behaviour of people who have spent an entire evening consuming the nation's favourite (legal) drug of choice: alcohol.

Personally I'd support the legalisation of all drugs on the basis that the purity could be monitored, thus making them safer; their output could be regulated, thus taking them out of the control of dangerous organised criminals and they could be taxed, thus generating billions of pounds in revenue that could be used to improve our schools, hospitals and, indeed, our police force. A common sense, practical solution that could be used to the nation's advantage. I don't expect any of the major parties to be advocating any such policy in this year's election though. Instead, expect more of the same bullshit arguments and tough talk trying to fight a battle that can never be won.

So let's hear it for Mrs Tabram as she fights the power. Let's hope her case is dismissed on grounds of compassion and in the process it makes a few more people realise the futility of our current drug laws.

The link between man and monkey just gets stronger

Research at Duke University in North Carolina has concluded that male rhesus monkeys will 'pay' to view images of female monkeys on PC screens. From the Observer today:

(Researchers) gave male macaques the choice of looking at images on a computer screen of either a female's posterior or of a socially-dominant monkey. They found that the monkeys would take a cut in their fruit juice allowance for glimpses of either alluring vision.

Now if that doesn't prove the link between humans and monkeys, what does?

Bad news for republicans

Much eulogising today over the news that two unattractive people in their late fifties have decided to get hitched. Doesn't it just tug your heart strings? Our beloved Prince Charlie and his Rod Hull lookalike Camilla Parker Pens, or whatever her name is, are finally getting married.

The was the news story of the day, week and, I fear, the year. Just look at this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. All around the world.

So embarrassing that these people continue to represent our country internationally. So irritating that this is even national news, let alone global. World, for what it's worth, there are millions of people in this country who could not give a flying shite about Charles, Camilla, the ethics of their relationship or what this means for the Church of England. Really. I could not care less if someone held a gun to my head and said "care less about this subject". But we're going to have months of this now, culminating in the wedding itself. One giant yawn for me and all who think like me. On the bright side, at least they are too old to have kids. Just imagine: her face and his ears. It's a scary thought.

Is there anyone home?

Prrppph.

At least, that's how I would spell it. You know, that noise you make by blowing through your lips to indicate that you are perplexed.

Sixteen days since I've written anything in the blog. Sixteen days. The desire to write something, anything, just hasn't been there and I don't know why. I have been busy I suppose, and I've been feeling a bit under the weather for the last couple of weeks, but it's not as if there's been a lack of good subject matter either. The elections in Iraq; the Pope being ill; Bush's State Of The Union address; profligate Prince Andrew and his chopper. . . . Oh, there's been plenty of material, but no desire to pass any sort of comment on it at all. Even this piece about creationist retards fighting for evolutionary sciences to be scrapped from the curriculum in Kansas didn't inspire me, and if that doesn't get me foaming at the mouth and ranting, then I don't know what will.

Hopefully normal service will be resumed soon.