I think I've just settled the fox hunting argument AND come up with a compromise

I think I've stumbled across the most convincing reason yet for banning fox hunting. It's not a particularly sophisticated argument and it doesn't really get to the roots of the ethical dilemma that the whole issue represents. However, I feel it has a force of conviction that should win over anyone who has yet to make up their mind on the subject. It's an easily digested treatise and its power lies in its simplicity. Take a look, it's from the front page of today's Independent:


Twat

The chap in the main picture? He's Luke Tomlinson, one of the pro-hunting protesters who made a mockery of security at the House of Commons on Wednesday. Just look at the smug satisfaction plastered all over this halfwit's face. The moment I saw it, my mind was made up. His outfit alone should be punishable by public flogging. Jeans and a double breasted blazer replete with gold (yes, gold) buttons, set off with a shirt and tie. This is the enemy. If outlawing fox hunting worsens his quality of life then I'll back it to the hilt. In fact, isn't there anything else we could do? How about tighter laws on inbreeding? Just look at his chin. It's as if Jay Leno, John Kerry, Bruce Forsyth and Jimmy Hill all donated DNA to create their very own 'Chin Boy' and this was the outcome.

Then again, also in the Indie, a feature on the "comeback" of Duran Duran made me think of a compromise we could offer to all those bumpkins still thirsty for the blood of vermin. How about (and apologies to Bill Hicks because he had this idea first) we let them hunt and kill Simon Le Bon and his merry crew? Just picture it. The whole band dropped in the middle of the countryside and mercilessly pursued by hounds for our enjoyment.

It would provide a threefold service:

1. We eradicate a tiresome act that really should have known when to quit (hint: 1986);
2. It fills the void for all those bogtrotting inbreds who need to chase and kill something in their spare time;
3. It would make fantastic television.

We'd never run out of viable targets either: the week after it could be the Rolling Stones for example, then, oh, I don't know, take your pick.

I don't know about you, but I reckon this is the answer. A real win-win solution all round. So what do you think, Mr. Blair?